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The inevitable war.

02.36: United Nations Security Council discusses Russia’s actions in Ukraine.



03:19: Explosions reported near Kyiv after Putin authorises a military operation.



Here we go then eh. The unthinkable. The potential for war on a scale we thought was put to bed all those years ago.


You’ve probably read that title the day and thought I’d begin wi some spiel about how Russia has been planning this for ages and it was only a matter of time… wrong.


This is a dark, dark day in Europe’s history. One of its worst… or as the British media will tell you: thee worst since you know when.


But as we embark upon what could be a really tragic episode in world history, with potentially devasting consequences for generations across Europe to come, I wanted to hit hame wi some realities about the situation… for those buying the shock element to the reaction by the political class the day.


First off, Vladimir Putin is a daft Soviet raj. He’s off his nut and we’ve known that for ages.


He’s talked about Russia and Ukraine being “one country” on countless occasions. A message that he’s put out consistently is his desire for Russia to be a great superpower again. Vla Vla, Vlad Putin… Russia’s greatest rage machine, as Boney M would’ve put it.


Folk call him a dictator over here as if everyone marches behind him all day. People are frightened to even dare say something outwith a script that is delicately put together and distributed to everyone to use when communicating with each other… that’s not entirely true. Russians have access to the websites that we use such as Facebook and YouTube. They can see most things that we do… like if they wanted to see what British and American trolls say about Putin being a heidcase roaster, they can access that.


He’s also sprinkled what’s called ‘obshchestvennaia palata’ all across the country. And naw I’m not talking about some mental Russian vodka… these are public chambers that have bridged the communication gap between state and society. People can engage in political issues and voice their opinions. They can raise awareness of stuff they think is important, set up crowdfunding and engage in collective protest.


Sounds a bit like our democracy eh?


There is quite a heavy catch but. Dinnae talk about high politics like security, human rights and foreign policy. Nooo no no. Yer erse will be clenching as hard as a weegie haudin onto a bottle ae MD2020 at afters.


Regardless, there’s a sense of unity in Russia to refrain from buying into our Western dross… because it’s ‘anti-Russian.’ They are absolutely staunch over there.


Point is, an act like this isny exactly out of character and, dare I say it, he’s done it on a largely united front in Russia. Not united in the sense that the Russian people will have wanted this, far from that. United in the sense that he’s built himsel a platform in a country wherein folk are just getting on wi his patter. Aye, he’s a pure maniac who loves Russia mare than anyhin but like… what’s new?


When I speak about the inevitability of war, though, I’m not talking about Putin.


You might think what has happened this morning is mental. People have thrown the term ‘World War 3’ about.


I don’t actually think it’s that mental.


…errr whit? At this point, you’ll be hinkin aw sorry big man. Didny realise big Innes was typing fae his laptop on the frontline in Kyiv.


Again, dinnae get me wrong. This is wild. My point is that World War Three had already begun and it wasny the Russians who laid the groundwork for it. The inevitable intervention from that mob is a reaction to the power play of world politics that the West has tried to dominate in the last two decades.


Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria, Mali, the Persian Gulf, Cyprus, Sudan, Nigeria… to name just a few places the British military has been in recent years. We, side by side wi the yanks, have created an environment where war is normalised again.


After WW2, we aw said enough is enough. Make it ‘international law,’ the phrase we Brits so often use, to ban military interventions across borders. Only in the name of self-defence, we said, is it sound.


And I’m no saying some military interventions areny justified or that… I’m saying we canny eat our cake and have it anaw. We canny go about obliterating countries oursels and then when Russia does it go ‘NAAAAAWWW. GOBSMACKED. WHAT ARE THEY DAEIN?!’


We have learned nothing.


Mind the budget? Aw aye… we’ve got loads ae bombs that would annihilate humanity as we know it, but we’ll need a wee bit extra surely. Let’s get an extra £4 billion a year in there to be spent on nuclear weapons. Just in case. It’s no like they can be used wi out destroying the world, but it’s good to be eh… sure. Aye, just make sure we’re sorted so that if another country destroys the world wi the same kindae bombs, we can hold our heads high and say we could’ve done as well.


Mind Syria? Aw aye, that kindae forgotten aboot country ‘we tried and failed’ kinda hing years ago… aye, we’re still sending airstrikes in there. You wouldny have heard about it in the news but aye we’ve still been at it as early as last year.


Mind Afghanistan? Aw aye, that was another ‘we tried and failed’ type ordeal eh. Terrible what happened last year eh, aw those folk trying to flee the country n that… they’re still there and their country is burst.


And then there’s today… 40 deid in a military operation instigated by Russia. A land war has begun in Europe.


Another country falling victim to a ‘West v the rest’ conflict. Cos let’s be clear, this isny about Ukraine and never has been about Ukraine. It’s about Russia being a superpower again. It’s about the big guns standing by Ukraine against whatever evil it is we’re fighting now… a culture of international relations that we can only blame ourselves for. World War 3 started years ago.


And the sad reality is, it is never Britain, America or Russia who pay the biggest price. It’s the general public on the chosen battlefield who’s left with a country that’s ruined. We boost, our news outlets start reporting on something else and it’s basically all forgotten about.


What a sad, sad day for Ukraine. Wasny that long ago people engaged in protests during ‘Euromaidan,’ standing up for human rights. A proper sense of national community. A moment where they felt truly free.


Not even 10 years later, they’re getting bent over by the big boys settling political scores.


We pray for the people of Ukraine… and just as importantly, we pray that the leaders of countries with huge military capacity (who will, by the way, go hame every evening to their silk bedsheets safe and sound) stop treating the world like Call of Duty.


Britain is filled wi Russian money, freeze all their assets. Stop their ability to trade wi the rest of the world. Send in as much humanitarian aid as possible. Pull out all the stops so this dingal canny even choose “the path of bloodshed,” rather than saying aye where that boy’s heading is legit.




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