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Why folk need a vallie

It’s approaching 6 am and yer in an absolute nick at your pal’s gaff.

You’ve got the gether for a birthday. Folk you’ve no seen for ages. Night flies in and you’ve barely spoke to the people you were buzzin to see.

See two of your boys on the couch there. Gee them the auld ‘how’s it gaaaawn,’ ‘what’s hapnin,’ what’s yer patter?’

After a few handshakes n that it quickly descends back into the conversation they were havin before… and it’s rotten.

Yer wantin to hear about where he got that black eye. Maybe gee it large about the fitbaw or slag him for wearin what looks like his da’s troosers… Naw. A depressing conversation about the benefits of working from home and how he’s slyly delighted he got covid the other week so he’s hassle-free. Oh Jesus wept. Deary me.

And it gets worse… he then goes ‘what did you think of 6 nations then?’ With adjectives to follow such as ‘beast’ and ‘unreal’.

Nut. Nut nut nut. I’ve shot up quicker than yer wee man would double dropping Viagra. Get that tae Falkirk. I’m aff.


Knowing the situation in Ukraine and that this new Covid strain would be big topics, I was hoping a degree of unified, progressive politics would be gawn on in Scotland the now. Even for a wee bit. There canny be that much we’re disagreeing on the now… surely?

Probably a few smirks behind that screen of yours eh. Politics wi out the pettiness? Behave. No chance.

Low and behold, I’m on Twitter last night and get the same feeling hoddit and doddit talkin about the rugby gave me. Except it’s no two guys I knew fae ages ago… it’s Ross Greer and Alistair Carmichael.

What is at about eh? I’m no grasping the goal of this conversation. Is it… prove the opposite side of the debate on Scottish independence is pro-Russia? Greer gawn ‘hink you’ll find we’re the Europeans.’ Carmichael then gawn ‘hmmm naw I think you’ll find many years ago it was the Nationalists who were anti-European. They’ll be tubing up to Putin no doubt.’

(Sigh)… how have we got here?

Well… this whole carry on started the moment Boris Johnson went “Ukraine is a small, free, European nation with a right to self-determination… something we will always defend.”

This naturally would raise a few eyebrows in Scotland… the case for staying together with the UK was partly based on the guarantee of EU membership. As we all know, we then patched this membership. And because of how recently the Scottish independence referendum vote was, it is no wonder folk have went haud on a minute here, were we no promised this a few year ago?

In fact it is, pretty much, the entire basis to call for the second referendum. And, in spite of those calls, those in favour of staying united with the rest of Britain are sayin weesht, this isny the time.

Now… I don’t think there’s anything wrong wi saying there might be some irony in defending Ukranian rights to self-determination and denying Scots a vote. It’s entirely relevant to the conversation Scotland would be having right now if Putin hadn’t lost his nut. It’s also no surprise Brexit has been mentioned in conversation. We’ve recently been through a vote which was based around Britain taking control over their own future… and not, on the contrary, letting institutions like the EU have a say on our laws.

By doing so, nobody is saying the situation in Scotland or the UK is anything like Ukraine. Far from it actually. Our conversation is entirely about democratic rights… there isny a conversation to be had in Ukraine let alone a democratically charged one.

And yet it’s sent politicians into an absolute frenzy.




It’s pathetic man. Folk need a vallie.

It’s classic British politics. Take one wee clip from a speech someone’s made, write up a whole story of wild accusations and make that person out to be a pure reincarnated Satin or sout.

Boris Johnson isny saying the struggle people in Britain go through is similar to what those Ukranians are going through right now. Neither is the former deputy leader of the SNP, Jim Sillars. They're simply using an example to explain the united front modern society should be on: preserving the right to decide on political matters democratically.

Christ, folk are actin as if they’re calling out Putin himsel and they’re some hero of Ukraine. Getting some self-satisfaction from taking the high road on Twitter. Crying shame on people from the comfort of their couch. Pack it in man.

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